The Cribs @ ULU

"You know it's not right, but it's something you like!"

The CRIBS will never be cool and it even looks like they CUT THEIR OWN HAIR! (Toni & Guy mustn't have made it as far as Wakefield). But at least tonight they look like they've had a wash before coming on stage.

What the Crib sibs are instead, is a very, very good live act. Their tunes are practically contagious and provoke mass shoutalongs by the crowd. And crowd surfing. And mosh pitting. The grubby one’s lip does not split this time, but we lost count of how much bottled lager he managed to neck during the 45 minute set.

And their contempt for hipster/fashionista scenesters comes through in almost every song. Many of the cribbettes down the front have had an irony bypass, as the camera phones are out in force during 'I'm Alright Me' - "Like groupies with cameras/You come out like leeches/To bleed us". Still, not to worry, when the drummer is actually standing on his kit, competing for some of the attention bestowed on the indie rock twins down the front.

The night ends with ‘Wrong Way to Be' and the stage is totally trashed. Grubby twin flings himself into the audience - barely making it back alive and with his t-shirt in tatters. So he whips it off and dives back in. This time he has the arse ripped out of his jeans. If he’d tried for a third surf, the fanatical fans would have eaten him! But he’s physically dragged off by slightly more sober siblings. (Not before whipping off his shredded jeans and sending the young groupies into a feeding frenzy!)

The support act ENVELOPES, all multiple guitars, keyboards and vocals, stopped just short of wowing us with their take on beautiful quirky sixties indie pop - thanks to the muddy ULU sound. Wonder what they made of it all? - When we left the cribbettes were still fighting it out over bits of filthy denim.

Its their tragic uncoolness that makes the Cribs one of us – (I’m speaking generally of course, Fringey is extremely cool!). Remember kids - always - "Take drugs! Don’t eat!" and "Have contempt for those you meet!"

(Finally a big thank you to the seven foot chap who let me stand in front of him. Not that I gave him much of a choice. Cheers!)